i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
