We're like a lot better than the average bears
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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