I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
