yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
