Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
