my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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