he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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