When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize