North Korea, Best Korea!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
