I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
