woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
