i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
