You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize