dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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