She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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