ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he shaved USA in his pubs
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
