i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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