today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize