i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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