Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Be still, my beating vagina.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
