thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dignity is for republicans.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
