I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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