3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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