And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
