I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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