wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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