im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
