Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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