Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
