You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
