Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
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