Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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