You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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