I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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