she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
