I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
