No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
