yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
