U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
