o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
