it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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