I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
