i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
