its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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