Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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