i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
