Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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