Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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