Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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