Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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