wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
