I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
