Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
