Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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