why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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