i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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