Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
