yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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