i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
