I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize