You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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