if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
