What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Randomize
